Manhattan is a Monet

Why New York Sucks

A few years ago my brother and his friend, Shawn, came to visit me. I was only eight months into my life in NYC and living in the Lower East Side. I was madly in love with New York. Sure, I had been lost, drenched in street water by a passing car, and experienced a rat running over my foot, but that didn’t matter. Blinded by my love of my new surroundings I knew I would love New York forever. Shawn, did not seem too crazy about New York. I showed the guys a good time but the inconveniences of city life seemed to really turn him off. Since that trip I have heard nothing but shit talking from Shawn about my city. As a person who writes a blog all about my love for this city I found his comments really offensive — until I saw this video he sent me.

First of all Maddox made this video to promote his new show, The Best Show in the Universe — and he calls New Yorkers pompous? Allow me to break down his argument of why New York sucks.

No Grocery Stores:

For a dude that seems to be very particular with his words he should have chosen more wisely. Of course there are grocery stores, but I do agree that they all suck. Anyone that has been to Florida or Georgia knows of Publix and as far as I’m concerned there isn’t a better grocery store. When I first moved here I felt like every “grocery store” looked like a bomb went off inside it. They are filthy and everything is terribly overpriced. When I make a trip to Whole Foods I feel like I am throwing money down the drain just to shop at a clean and well-organized grocery store. I will say that I like bodegas. It’s nice that I don’t have to maneuver the crowds and wait in line when I need a small item or just want a sandwich. This is something they do not have in Florida.

Subway System Sucks:

Its true! While service changes are available online many tourists may not be aware of these changes and so that’s probably why they are posted on paper at the subway platforms. However, there is nothing more annoying than trying to get around on the subway during the weekends. It’s like someone handed you a map to find the buried treasure. Here ya go! Figure out how to get home. Muuuahahahaha! If New York City is supposed to be one of the wealthiest cities in the world we should really have a better public transportation system. Period.

New York City is the Cultural Center of the Universe:

Isn’t it? Maddox claims that New Yorkers love talking about how great our city is and we do. It’s not an easy place to live so if you are going to endure the crap you better like living here. Most New Yorkers I encounter love it here but they equally love getting out of the city. Why do you think there are so many airports in the area? If we don’t get the hell out occasionally we will go crazy.

New York Pizza Spoils Pizza for the Rest of the Country:

In New York’s defense, the slice from the video looks like he picked it up at a dollar pizza joint. Those slices are…whatever. Grab a pie at a coal-fire spot and then tell me there is a better slice somewhere else. If I were in Chicago I would not object to trying a slice of Chicago style pizza. I’m sure it’s amazing, but you know what Chicago pizza isn’t? New York Pizza.

What are your thoughts on this video? 


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